Thursday, September 2, 2010

My Sexy Dream about......Gene Simmons?!?!?!?

Many of you know that I am a very vivid dreamer. Unlike my brother Clark, I don't claim to have Lucid dreams, but I can usually remember all sorts of details, from colors to smells and textures. Often my dreams take on epic status, moving in and out of strange scenarios like some weird cult movie.

Well, last night I had one of those sexy celeb dreams--you know the kind. Those where you get up-close-and-personal with some sort of famous person you daydream about in real life?

Only this time, not only do I absolutely despise the person in real life, I have NEVER once had erotic thinks about him.

I dreamed I was some sort of up-and-coming pop-star/actress, putting together a show for the theatre I was involved in. This band showed up to do a special, and we were working on the details of the concert, such as stage blocking.

The band was not Led Zeppelin, nor was it The Doors or any other hot classic group I might be inclined to dream about. Nooooo, the band in my dream was none other than KISS. And bassist Gene Simmons was taking the lead in choreographing, which included tying me up, ripping my clothes off, and putting on THAT sort of show.

I just have to ask one thing:

WHY, of all people, did it have to be frickin' GENE SIMMONS!?!??!

I can't STAND the guy! He just seems like such a cocky bastard!

And not only that, but he's boasted of sleeping with a butt-load (literally) of women! I'm talking like 4,600 women, and that's been quoted.

I mean, if KISS was going to insist on being present in my unconscious dream, why couldn't the object of my dream desire have been Paul Stanley?

Noooo, it wasn't Paul Stanley. It was Gene Simmons. Not the one on the right, but the one on the left.

Not the one on the right, but the one on the LEFT!!!

And the worst part about all of it???


And I'm not even into bondage!!!!!

And at one point, he had blood seeping out of his mouth because he'd bitten the head off of a bat! Even in my dream, I was a bit confused, because I knew Ozzy was the one known for biting bat heads, but it didn't make much difference. I just went along with it, and got all sorts of hot and bothered.

And when I woke up at like 3 a.m., I thought to myself in my sleepy haze, Hmm! I never knew why so many women liked Gene Simmons! But now I do!

Now that I am AWAKE, however, I take back ALL disturbing thoughts of Gene Simmons being sexy. The guy is just gross. And I know that may sound hypocritical coming from someone who has a crush on Mickey Rourke...

But at least Mickey seems like some sort of NICE, DECENT person, right???



  1. Poor Carrie, lol! (And eewww. Gene Simmons? Not. Even.)

  2. I knooooooooooow!!!! Not even!!!!!!!!

  3. **Wiping tears away** The biting the head off the bat just killed me. I read it again and cracked up all over again.

    Yes, I do think you need to sit down and talk to your subconscious and tell it what's acceptable and what's not. Although, if you had a dream about Mickey Rourke, his "fun" would probably have something to do with his little dogs licking you in the middle of amore. I don't really know which would be worse...

  4. There's this video of Gene Simmons doing a "bass solo." I put that in quotes because all he's doing is playing one note over and over, slowly at first, then faster and faster as he bites down on a blood capsule and drools it all out of his mouth. It didn't impress me because **I** could get up on a stage and look like a wild animal and play ONE NOTE. Sheesh. I have great respect for KISS as performers, but as musicians...well, they ain't no Led Zeppelin.

  5. ALIEN LOVE... please tell me you that used protection... beware of near-virgin birth... or was this just a tongue in cheek dream?

    Signed, hobo

  6. Well it didn't quite go THERE but it almost did. The stage choreography he had me doing was quite risqué. (I am so entertained that out of all my posts, this one has the most views. Go figure.)